The Husbands of River Song Review
Clint Hassell gives his verdict on this year’s festive special.
In writing “The Husbands of River Song,” Steven Moffat faced several challenges. Obviously, being a Christmas special, the episode had to appeal to a wider audience than normal, including children distracted by new toys, and casual viewers who perhaps hadn’t seen Series 9. The episode needed to be light-hearted, yet involve a Doctor still affected by Clara’s bittersweet exit. Additionally, with the premiere of Series 10 nowhere in sight, the story had to stand alone. Finally, River Song needed to be included in a way that furthered her character development, without conflicting with her fairly complete narrative. In meeting all of these challenges, Moffat crafted one of his best scripts to date, which not only works as a Christmas special, but also as the perfect epilogue to Series 9.
“The Husbands of River Song” is Moffat’s most bitingly funny Doctor Who script. Thankfully, rather than relying on puns, or pratfalls and physical humor, Moffat mines his Coupling past and fills the special with situational comedy. There is inherent humor in the Doctor being jealous of River’s other husbands, in River not recognizing the Doctor, and in River seemingly willing to murder or endanger each of her “husbands.” Moffat intentionally writes with the audience’s foreknowledge in mind, filling the first half of the episode with witty banter and lively dialogue that plunders each situation for maximum effect.
Yes, there seem to be moments that strain credulity. A running joke where the Doctor is constantly interrupted before he can tell River his true identity is one thing; River not realizing the Doctor as her husband – – despite his constant questioning and knowing references to their shared past – – is another, particularly when it is revealed that she knows the Doctor is in the area, and that she is actively looking for him. Thankfully, Moffat addresses this issue with the sensible, simple explanation that, unaware of the events of “The Time of the Doctor,” River is not expecting any Doctor to exist, after Eleven. She does not even consider a Twelfth Doctor because, from her point of view, he’s an impossibility.
In the episode’s second half, Moffat shifts his focus, taking his comedic premise and mining it for character development. When the Doctor inquires how River could fall in “love” with King Hydroflax, after only a week, River, still unaware of the Doctor’s identity, counters that she only claimed to love Hydroflax. “It is the easiest lie you can tell a man,” she says, “A man’ll believe any story he is the hero of.” It is at this point that the Doctor realizes how many adventures River has had away from him. She’s 200 years old and, apparently, has been steaking away in the TARDIS, unbeknownst to the Doctor, for exploits of her own. She is the hero of her own story, who, from her point of view, often shows up to save the Doctor, hence his “Damsel” nickname. This helps to redefine River as a strong, independent character, rehabilitating her depiction as so psychologically damaged by Kovarian’s brainwashing that she devoted herself to a man she barely knew, in Series 6’s “Let’s Kill Hitler.” As always, River admits freely to loving the Doctor, but realizes that he’s never loved her in the same way, if at all. This on-screen revelation slightly remedies her unrealistically attached persona from Series 6, particularly “The Wedding of River Song.” While River still exhibits unjustified devotion, she at least realizes her predicament, thus salvaging the dignity of her character.
What River misses in her hero worship is that the Doctor does fall in love with people. He has loved all of his companions, and humanity, in general, which is why he continues to frequent the Earth. In fact, by genuinely caring for each of his companions in a way that River never did for Hydroflax or Ramone, the Doctor could be accused of having a great deal more spouses than River ever did. Though the Doctor may have initially been drawn to River due to the mystery of her origins, he has grown to feel a great deal of affection towards her, a fact that “The Husbands of River Song” pointedly makes as River finds the Doctor “stupid, sentimental, and in love enough to find himself standing in it” alongside her, in her adventure. “Hello, sweetie,” indeed.
Just as impressive as Moffat’s rehabilitation of River’s character is how “The Husbands of River Song” ties into the finale of Series 9. Much of River’s seemingly incongruous behavior suddenly becomes understandable once it is revealed that, in her relative timeline, she has just experienced losing her parents to the Weeping Angels, in Manhattan, and watched how a hurt Eleven began to shelter himself emotionally, distancing himself for everyone, including River. Just as Clara became more reckless after losing Danny Pink, River does the same. River continues to run wild, seemingly confident that she is safe until she and the Doctor visit Darillium. Again, like Clara, River expects the Doctor to find a way around her death, a not unreasonable expectation considering the many ways River has seen the Doctor cheat the inevitable.
What River doesn’t realize, but the episode is careful to point out, is that the Doctor is similarly in mourning. Though he cannot remember the specifics of her character, the Doctor can recall how he saved his most-recent companion, Clara, and in doing so, had his memories of her erased. The Doctor does love River, and is unwilling to risk losing his memories of her, as well, as so is reticent to similarly help her escape her fate in The Library, beyond giving her a modified sonic screwdriver. Not only is this evidence that the Doctor has taken to hearts Clara’s lesson on memories defining a person’s character, it also recalls River’s demand, in “Forest of the Dead,” that the Doctor not rewrite “one line” of their shared times. The Doctor does remain true to River, but to the future River who will treasure her memories and brave demise as much as Clara and the Doctor do theirs.
