The Husbands of River Song: The Good, the Bad and the Nerdy

Gustaff Behr goes through the highs, the lows and everything else from the Christmas special.

2015 has come and gone and with it another season of Doctor Who. But before we start weeping over the yet-to-be-announced airdate for Series 10, let’s take one more step back into 2015 and join Peter Capaldi’s Twelfth Doctor and Alex Kingston’s River Song and study whether they had a good, a bad or a nerdy Christmas…

The Good

River Song! Yes, the mere presence of the time travelling archaeologist was enough to ignite the spark within this fan’s heart. We could’ve had a fun romp and it could’ve just been another story featuring River Song, but it wasn’t. Instead, we were given a story which tackled a topic we all thought we knew quite well, and turned it on its head.

It’s a curious thought isn’t it? How well do you know your other half? What do they get up to when you’re not around? Is it alright for the Doctor to disapprove of River’s other spouses when he himself has been no stranger to mixing it up?

The mix between comedy and tragedy is a strange one. Much like Horror-Comedy. What is it? Funny or scary? But it is refreshing to see an episode address the Doctor’s relationship with River Song within such a hilarious story. Is their relationship that of a One-True-Love, Eternal Lovers, Doomed Lovers? Was it mainly a sexual relationship? An old married couple or a one-sided, unrequited love? There are elements of all of the above, some of them brought to the foreground more than others in seasons past.

The Doctor’s “Bigger on the Inside” moment ranks quite high, if not taking the top spot when compared to previous TARDIS moments.

It’s strange how often people often think Flatline is the first and best occurrence of a companion becoming the Doctor, but in many more ways, The Husbands of River Song swaps the roles in a more organic way without it feeling like it’s being shoved down our throats. The audience experiences events from the Doctor’s point of view (as we tend to do with new companions) as he accompanies and becomes surprised at all the things “Doctor” Song gets up. He is both the main character, but also not the main character. No hybrid jokes please!

One of Series Nine weak points was the once-off monsters of the week being pretty underused or downright absurd. The Xmas Special subverts this by presenting us with a villain that is both threatening and silly at the same time. While King Hydroflax is mostly used to spew empty threats, his robotic body on the other hand is threatening and a worthy antagonist. Also, if you were expecting a truly evil individual from a guy called Hydroflax, then you need help. The fellow’s name sounds like a high-tech new toilet from Japan. Introducing the Hydroflax: For all your sitting-down needs and comforts.

The Bad

I don’t have much to say here. I spotted one production error and the reused Trap Street location was blatant, but not much else.

Oh! I remembered one: The resolution! The Doctor’s method for defeating Hydroflax’s body feels both contrived and confusing, hidden underneath a rapid-fire paragraph of technobabble.

The Nerdy

Check those boxes people. Virtually every TV story River Song has ever featured in gets namedropped or referenced in some way. But my favorite is probably The Time of Angels’ “I’ve got pictures of all your faces” images River carries about.

The Sonic Trowel also makes another appearance earlier in River’s timeline in the new The Diary of River Song audio box set from Big Finish. Steven Moffat and Nick Briggs are two peas in a pod ladies and gentlemen. Don’t let them fool you.

In the restaurant scene, you can hear The First Noel playing in the background as well as Hark! The Herald Angels Sing just as the episode begins. And in-Universe, Silence in the Library from the Doctor Who Series 4 Soundtrack, plays as River opens her present.

And did you know that this is the first Christmas special to have NO scenes set on Earth? Well now you do.

Air date details for Series 10 is deadlocked inside the deepest bowels of the BBC. Who knows when we’ll learn something new and if there is indeed light at the end of tunnel? Until then, I sincerely hope you’ve enjoyed this series of articles.