The Script Doctor: Fixing Series 12, Episodes 1-5
Guest feature by the Script Doctor.
Series 12 has come and gone. It will be a while before we see any new Doctor Who on our screens, so why not look back at the most recent season and examine all the things that worked.
Too boring?
I agree.
Pointing out all the problems seem more our speed these days anyway.
Too negative?
Okay, I’ll meet you halfway.
We’ll take a look at what didn’t work in Series 12 and how those mistakes could have been prevented. I am the Script Doctor and I’ll be in charge of this surgery…
Please note we’ll be tackling the issues episode by episode first before taking a look at some of the more commonly made errors. Also note that I am not going to try and unmake an episode simply because the contents aren’t 10/10 exhilarating. These issues are meant to highlight ways that the episode could’ve been portrayed as less offensive, more exciting, better developed etc.
First up…
Spyfall, Part 1
In Series 12 every other episode was plagued with too many companions or supporting characters not being given enough, or anything to do. You can make Series 12 feel more like its own beast by structuring episodes to contain a combination of companions instead of just all of them. For example: Episode One: Doctor and Yaz, Episode Two: Doctor, Graham and Ryan, Episode Three: Doctor, Yaz and Graham etc. This method has never been done in Doctor Who to this extent before. It opens up bold new possibilities and also gives you a better chance to develop and showcase each of your companions. Understandably, this technique can’t be used in the first episode as one of its purposes is to reintroduce the main characters to the audience. I mention it here as it will become important moving forward.
As to the actual episode, cut the remark about the Doctor’s ‘upgrade’ in regards to her female incarnation. The line itself only seems to exist to further anger fans who oppose Jodie’s casting. Also, the line isn’t even remotely witty or funny. Something along the lines of ‘There’s a first time for everything,’ or ‘Fancy that, eh’ would have been better/less provoking.
Remove the dialogue about Yaz being her CO’s best officer, it’s character shilling. Don’t know what shilling is? It’s when characters in fiction inform audiences of another’s attributes and characteristics instead of the episode demonstrating those traits naturally.
While successfully giving each companion something to do, the script itself suffers from terribly weak logic. For instance Ryan and Yaz are surprised that a top tech firm would have surveillance cameras indoors. The script lets itself down further by not putting cameras in Daniel’s office, which makes it too convenient for the companions. More attention needs to be given to make dialogue such as this more intelligent. Don’t sacrifice logic to make it easier to write your story. And don’t assume your audience is less clever than you. People older than the age of five also watch this show.
Result: We removed unnecessary confrontation-provoking dialogue, avoided character shilling and wrote more intelligent dialogue.
Spyfall, Part 2
Cut the companions. All three of them. Leave the cliffhanger of them about to crash up in the air (pun intended) and have the episode focus on the Doctor battling the Master. This decision solves several other key issues. Firstly, it removes The Sound of Drums plotline that the companions are thrown into after they are rescued. Since that plot is copy/pasted almost beat for beat from Blink and serves no purpose other than to give the companions something to do for the rest of the episode, removing it frees up a lot of time to do other things with the Doctor and the Master.
Not only that, but having the companions discuss how little they know about the Doctor after travelling an entire season with her not only feels clunky, but it feels stupid. Unfortunately, there is no way around this. This is a topic that Chris Chibnall should have tackled somewhere in Series 11.
Thirdly, removing the companions for the bulk of the story makes the script feel less cluttered with Ada Lovelace and Noor Inayat Khan acting as the Doctor’s pseudo-companions.
Fourthly, removing The Sound of Drums esque companion subplot allows the episode to focus more on Daniel Barton and the Kasaavins who are both reduced to supporting players in the original episode while the Doctor and Master battle across history.
So then how do we rescue the ‘fam’?
Well instead of copy/pasting Blink why not just have the TARDIS materialize around the plane at the end of the episode when the Doctor remembers she’s forgotten something? Show a cutaway shot of the companions waiting on a big CGI plane floating harmlessly in one of the TARDIS dams. It’s both cheeky for its lazy resolution, which is what it actually felt like when it copied Blink… and potentially funny if we see the Doctor wearing a pirate hat rowing towards her companions in a small tugboat with ‘WHO13’ painted on the side.
I don’t know what Chris Chibnall was drinking when he allowed the Doctor to strand the Master in the past for 77 years, where he can wreck unimaginable damage, but please stop it. It’s bad for your brain, and common sense. I will confess though the ’I’ve just had the most infuriating seventy seven years of my life’ line is probably the funniest in this entire episode.
The Doctor’s characterization is all over the place too. You cannot have the most optimistic and kind incarnation instigate the events that could lead to the potential torture and execution of someone at the hands of the Nazis. Never cruel or cowardly, remember?
Likewise, you can’t be amazed and inspired by two historical women and then happily wipe their minds knowing how horrible their futures will be. Show the Doctor being responsible by wiping Ada and Noor’s minds, but show how gut-wrenched and disgusted with herself she is at having to do it. You can even demonstrate how different the Doctor is by having Ada and Noor want to keep their memories to use the knowledge to protect themselves and their families, while the Doctor has to justify why she can’t do that. This would also stop the similarities between this scene and the Donna Noble mind wipe. In Journey’s End it’s used to protect Donna, while here it’s used to preserve history.
A line of dialogue from the Doctor questioning why the Master is evil again when he was making so much progress as Missy would be nice. Even having the Master reply with ‘you left me’ would do wonders for his motivation. His anger would partly have a catalyst in that he feels betrayed after working so hard to be a good person. Plus Doctor/Master foeyay yo!
Gallifrey’s destruction feels unnecessary and undermines the seven years of work Steven Moffat put into restoring it and leaving the door open for other writers. Keep the Master as this furious, angry individual, but substitute Gallifrey’s destruction with something else. However, keep the ‘dark secret’ that the Master has discovered about the Time Lords. Actually, instead of having him ‘discover’ this secret, we’ll change it so that the Kasaavins relayed this information to the Master off-screen. This provides more mystery as the Kasaavins are not from N-Space, so how could they know about the Time Lords?
Result: We avoided copy/pasting from multiple popular David Tennant episodes, freed up screen time by dropping the companions, preserved Gallifrey, addressed the Missy character development, stabilized the Doctor’s characterization and we had characters make intelligent decisions by not stranding the Doctor’s worst enemy in the past of her favourite planet.
Orphan 55
Cut this episode completely! Seriously, delete it. Sack the writer and use another script. There are so many ideas that don’t work in this episode that it’s a mystery how this story ever saw the light of day. Or maybe Chris got a call from Greta Thunberg who told him she’s a big Doctor Who fan?
After side-lining the companions in Spyfall, Part 2, this slot should be a Doctor-lite episode. Invent a reason for the Doctor to be away (as you do with these episodes) and focus on showing how far the companions have come.
Give each one something to do and weave their narratives together. Make them begin to question how little they know about the Doctor. Have them reflect on how close to death they came in the previous episode. How flippant the Doctor treated the situation by showing up in a tugboat and a pirate hat etc. Have the episode be a character study that ultimately builds towards the companions challenging the Doctor at the end to reveal more about herself.
This way you help develop each of the companions (Graham received no development in Series 12, while Yaz and Ryan received nothing in Series 11) and explore their anxieties in a controlled and organic way. Not to mention they get to be the heroes of this episode.
Result: An exponentially better episode that focuses entirely on the companions and which develops Yaz, Graham and Ryan. Plus, Orphan 55 is erased from existence.
Fugitive of the Judoon
I purposely scheduled this episode to be before Nicola Tesla’s Night of Terror for plot reasons.
There isn’t much to fix here. It’s a really solid episode for the most part that makes good use of the Judoon (if repetitive), features a good mystery and a great reveal (with some polarizing decisions afterwards). I would keep the reveal of Ruth as an incarnation of the Doctor and have both of them be confused as to where in the timeline Ruth fits. The ambiguity is good for fan discussion and adds a really intriguing mystery to the series.
I would remove the companions from the episode, making this another companion-lite episode. Again, Ryan, Graham and Yaz originally serve no purpose other than to disappear from the plot so that the Doctor and Ruth can investigate. If your only reason for adding a character is to remove them, don’t waste time by having them there in the first place.
But how do we explain the companions’ absence?
The Doctor is purposely avoiding them.
Why?
Have the team’s serious discussion from the Orphan 55 replacement play a prominent role. Or better yet, have all the companions, or at least some of them, not be ready to continue travelling with the Doctor. Give Ryan or Graham a serious, rational fear of being put into mortal danger again and have one of the other companions console them. Have this be an arc. It would actually fit in well with Graham’s cancer scene in Spyfall. The man who is afraid of dying of cancer realizes that by travelling with the Doctor he can die even quicker of something else. As for Yaz, be cheeky and show a gag scene of her being too busy doing actual police work for a change.
Secondly, Jack Harkness’ limited appearance is the biggest letdown of the episode. He is a fan favourite and should feature more prominently. Have him teleport to Earth to find the Doctor to warn her about the Lone Cyberman but get caught up in the Ruth/Judoon investigation. Jack Harkness is an expert operative and would be a great asset in keeping the Judoon and the Division at bay while providing tactical support for the Doctor and Ruth.
By having Jack Harkness and the Doctor play prominently in the episode, maybe even inventing a reason for them to team-up to solve the Ruth mystery, you elevate the episode purely from a nostalgic point of view. You can end the episode with Jack warning the Doctor about the Lone Cyberman, much to her irritation. The Doctor tells Jack now that he knows that he’s told her what not to do, she has to do it. Jack can comment that he knows this, but at least the Doctor can start preparing for the battle.
Result: Take the nostalgia and fanservice up to 12 by having Jack feature prominently, free up screen time by cutting companions, while still keeping the focus on the Doctor and Ruth.
Nicola Tesla’s Night of Terror
Once again I would drop all the companions. I would rely on nostalgia and invent a reason for Rani from the The Sarah Jane Adventures to be in this particular story. Perhaps have her be connected to Tesla or the discount-Racnoss Queen (also played by Anjli Mohindra) in some way shape or form. The episode could have the Doctor and Rani partnering up. That alone would add more connective tissue to the rest of the Doctor Who universe, as well as pleasing fans a la School Reunion.
Most importantly by partnering the Doctor up with someone who isn’t a current companion you can have them help explore the Doctor’s anxieties over the recent Ruth revelation. Develop the Doctor’s character by letting her develop her existential crisis and then partly, but not completely, overcoming these doubts and face her problems by calling on her current companions instead of distancing herself which is something this Doctor does a lot, including this episode. I would end the episode with the Doctor collecting her ‘fam’ and opening up to them about why she’s been so distant lately and reveal the truth about the Ruth incarnation and her crisis of identity.
Originally, this crisis only showed up for a few minutes after the Timeless Child prophecy reveal in the finale, but is almost just as quickly forgotten about which defeats the purpose and adds nothing to the Doctor’s character. This way you build an entire season around it.
Result: We have more nostalgia and fanservice with Rani, we expand on the Doctor’s anxiety, build on her existential crisis, help develop her more by addressing some of her issues.
