Ranking the Gallifrey Stories
Guest contributor Will Atkinson counts down his list, then cast your own vote.
“Through the millennia, the Time Lords of Gallifrey lead a life of peace and ordered calm, protected from all threats from lesser civilisations by their great power. But this was to change. Suddenly and terribly, the Time Lords faced the most dangerous crisis of their long history…a list.”
Yes, Time Ladies and Lords, a list. A list free of outside influence or corruption, because ten million years is what it takes to become really corrupt. And now I’ve stated that I will be completely impartial, not even the sonic screwdriver can get me out of this one…
I should probably stop with the Gallifrey puns now.
Anyway, as per tradition, this list will be from Worst to Best. My classification of a Gallifrey story is not a self-imposed one, but the one of that most implacable and immutable of guides: Wikipedia. I won’t therefore be including appearances such as those in The Trial of a Time Lord or Terror of the Autons (where Time Lords appear but Gallifrey doesn’t) or short cameos, as we’d be here all day and I’ve got work to do and the tea’s getting cold. Also, the ranking is not necessarily based on quality of story but instead of the quality of Gallifrey’s realisation, though, as you will see, normally the two things go hand in hand. So, here goes…
10. Arc of Infinity
Arc of Infinity is a very strange story, and not that great of one either. It has its highpoints – Peter Davison is excellent at portraying both the Doctor and Omega, and the traipsing around Amsterdam is surprisingly charming – but on the whole it’s a bit naff. Omega lacks the thrill of his first appearance in The Three Doctors, and the story is dragged down by the issue that plagues so much of eighties Doctor Who – it takes itself far too seriously. But Gallifrey is what we’re here to discuss, and, more than anything, Gallifrey is the reason why this is bottom of the pile. Arc of Infinity manages to turn Gallifrey from being the most exciting and mystical place in the whole of Doctor Who to being an overwhelmingly beige and dull land of sad-looking extras dressed in silly hats while sitting on various sofas (or Time-Sofas, which sounds far more interesting). And while sad-looking extras in silly hats are normally what Doctor Who is all about, it just doesn’t cut the mustard here. The all I can say is, there’s a reason why the first word of this stories title is often replaced by a certain word for bottom.
Ah well, at least we get to see Colin Baker shoot Peter Davison, and not in a terrifying fan-fictiony way.
9. The Three Doctors
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love The Three Doctors. As one of the few Doctor DVDs I owned as a kid, I’ve seen it over a dozen times and I love it just as much every time I watch it. Unfortunately though, one of this story’s few let downs is its representation of Gallifrey. As one of the earliest demonstrations of the planet, the version of the Doctor’s homeworld that we all know now isn’t really the same one as shown here. With its funky backgrounds and 70’s decor, this is certainly a Gallifrey representative of the time this story was made and while it has its charms, I can’t let my fondness for the tale as a whole dent my ranking and I’m sorry to have to put it here. But if you haven’t seen The Three Doctors, please don’t let this put you off it. It truly is brilliant.
8. Listen
Slightly controversial I know, but I’ve included Listen here for the significant reason that it shows us a side of Gallifrey that we haven’t really seen before – the ordinary people. Though only minutes are spent on Gallifrey, in that time we learn about the whole society that exists in the place, the frightening choice of being either sent to the army or the academy. In the short glimpse we get we see the everyday of Gallifrey, the normal people whose lives tick away while all the big stuff goes on. And while there’s not enough here to place Listen any higher (because if I was doing this on overall quality it would be darn close to the top) there’s certainly enough here to merit its inclusion. So, erm, sorry if I’ve accidentally messed up your ranking…
7. The Five Doctors
Bookending the same season as Arc of Infinity, The Five Doctors’ interpretation of Gallifrey suffers from many of the same problems. However, at least here we get to learn intriguing new details about the Time Lords, with the adventures in the Death Zone and Rassilon’s tombs being particular highlights. The problem is there’s not really a lot we haven’t seen before in terms of Time Lord interaction. While Rassilon may be a plus, and the Death Zone is great, there’s nothing too ground breaking. But who cares – The Five Doctors is tremendous fun, and that doesn’t stop just because the Time Lords aren’t at their best here. And all together now –“No, not the mind probe!”
6. The Invasion of Time
Ah, The Invasion of Time. This story also holds a special place in my heart because, bizarrely, it was the story I watched on the day of the 50th anniversary. It is utterly bonkers and very uneven, but it is also the most joyous of romps from beginning to end. With shock baddies, an evil Doctor and the most out of nowhere companion departure eve, it is certainly a special story, and it also gets Gallifrey realised pretty well overall. The presentation of the Time Lords here is merely a follow up to their portrayal in The Deadly Assassin, and while that’s no bad thing, there isn’t really anything new here. So, for all of its unusual elements, there’s one word in particular that I can best use to sum up The Invasion of Time here – solid. Perfectly, brilliantly, solid.
5. The End of Time
I remember watching the end of The End of Time: Part One as a wee lad and being absolutely blown away by it. Time Lords! Gallifrey! That bloke me Mum likes! No, not David Tennant, the other one! Yeah, whats-his-name who was that one Bond everyone forgets! No, not George Lazenby, the other one!
Ahem.
Anyway, The End of Time makes a jolly good stab at realising the Time Lords, and while the tale is not my favourite by any means, Gallifrey and its inhabitants are one of the highlights. Here the Time Lords are truly imposing, and with the benefits of modern technology they are finally presented at the cod-Shakespearean gods that they were always meant to be. Therefore, though I know The End of Time tends to be a splitter of opinion, I have to say that, for me at least, it deserves to be in the top half of this list. However, the less said about John Simm World, the better.
4. Heaven Sent / Hell Bent
The latest sojourn to the shining world of the seven systems has also scored quite highly on my list for the simple reason that it does everything that The End of Time does, just better. This is a natural evolution of the Time Lords from where, chronologically, we last left them and Steven Moffat’s writing does an excellent job of weaving whole new parts of the Gallifrey tapestry into place. The best Gallifrey stories don’t just visit the place, they change it, and Heaven Sent / Hell Bent certainly puts forward a distinctive interpretation. I for one certainly hope we can return to this version of the Doctor’s homeworld very, very soon.
3. The Day of the Doctor
It is said you don’t truly know someone until you’ve seen them at their worst, and The Day of the Doctor, as well as being the official BEST DOCTOR WHO STORY EVER (at least according to Doctor Who Magazine and voters of this site), certainly does this for Gallifrey. By demonstrating the havoc of the Time War in all of its terrifying glory, The Day of the Doctor shows us what life was like on Gallifrey on its darkest day and how it not only affected the High Council but how it hurt the “little people” as well. For the first time we get to properly see the normal inhabitants of Gallifrey, and aside for the unnerving sight of the one wearing a swastika (seriously, go and watch it now if you haven’t seen him!) this is a tremendous success. So, for the fact it shows us such important facets of Gallifrey that were hitherto almost entirely unseen, The Day of the Doctor is well placed at Number 3.
2. The War Games
The Time Lords and Gallifrey’s first appearance is one of their greatest, for it demonstrates clearly why they and it are such important facets of the show we know and love. They are perhaps never again as frightening as they are here, coldly pronouncing judgement on the Doctor and his companions and wiping minds and timelines for indiscretions. It is slightly sad that this is the only time the Time Lords are really shown in this way (and indeed the same applies to Gallifrey, though remarkably it remains nameless here and would so for several years), and while their later revamping was masterful, this early version of the Doctor’s world certainly has an awful lot of merits.
So, only one story to go. And really, when it comes to Gallifrey stories, there was no contest…
1. The Deadly Assassin
The Deadly Assassin is Gallifrey 101. Though they may not have originated here, this is the first and best Gallifrey-set story. It is the baseline against which all others are measured and that’s because, quite simply, it is superb. A mad, horrifying and deliciously written thriller, The Deadly Assassin rewrote every idea about the Time Lord’s that there was at the, er, time and does it in a splendid fashion. The brainchild of the show’s greatest ever writer, Robert Holmes, there are so many elements of this story that were completely against the Doctor Who rulebook- no companion, a new Master and a whole story set on Gallifrey to name but a few – that by the end of it, you know you’ve watch something great.
But enough with the hyperbole, I hear you cry, what exactly is so great about The Deadly Assassin’s demonstration of Gallifrey? Well the main reason, and believe me there are many, is that it changes the Time Lords from being a race of all-powerful gods to being a group of dusty old blokes, too decrepit to do anything about the universe. Though Heaven Sent/Hell Bent and The War Games tell us that the Doctor left Gallifrey because he was scared, here we see the real (well, real to me) reason – he was bored. By making the Doctor’s homeworld so much more dusty, Holmes managed to revamp the character of the Doctor himself. No longer was he an immortal being, here to save the universe through his great might. Now he was just a man, from a race of other men, trying to use his power to help to make up for those who wouldn’t. It changed the show for ever, and at the same time gave us the best realisation of Gallifrey there’s ever been. So, because of that and a hundred other reasons why I love The Deadly Assassin, it’s right at the top of my list.
Well, there you go. I guess I wasn’t quite as impartial as I set out to be, so let’s hope you guys can forgive me when you tell me your own rankings below.
Have Your Say…
You’ve heard Will’s thoughts but what do you think? Vote in the poll below:
Note: This poll requires you to rank the stories, from your favourite at the top, to least favourite at the bottom. Drag each of them to create your desired order of preference. Mobile and tablet users can directly number them (or try this link).
