Who the Doctor Who Characters Might Vote For In the UK Elections

Guest contributor Sam Glover takes a look.

LEAVE YOUR POLITICAL AFFILIATIONS AT THE DOOR. This was the mantra I had to repeatedly beat into my head when deciding to have a go at seeing who the Doctor, his companions and enemies might vote for at the UK elections. It’s something you’ll all have to try and do as well as you may find yourself in political conflict with your favourite characters.

To test who they might vote for I am using one of several “blind” voting sites. The one I’ve opted for is called TickBox, although other sites like Vote for Policies, Verto and Vote Match work as well, and are perhaps more comprehensive. Why TickBox? It’s the most simple: questions with yes/no/don’t know answers.

With a little help from the BBC I picked out what I think will be the most important issues at this election: Immigration, the NHS, economic strategy (including benefits), the Trident nuclear weapons system and, a less major but highly-debated one, HS2. In a spirit of openness I’ll acknowledge that when I’ve undertaken these tests my top 3 parties have always been Green, Liberal or Labour, in various orders with Green winning most often.

We’re going to assume that each character/species is, briefly, eligible to vote rather than just taking over, although of course their endgames remain the same. The characters I will be looking at are:

• Heroes: Donna, Rory, River, 10^th Doctor and 12^th Doctor
• Villains: Cybermen, Missy, Simm Master, Silents (the creatures) and Daleks

Should HS2 Be Scrapped?

HS2 is a project linking London with Northern cities by High Speed railway. The first phase links London with Birmingham, with plans to go up to Manchester, Leeds and Scotland each hinging on the success of phase 1. Proponents say it will bridge the North/South divide and will halve journey times between some of the UKs biggest cities. Opponents say the cost is too high (particularly in times of economic struggle) and that it won’t have as positive an impact as the planners state.

So, as far as Doctor Who goes, where shall we start? Donna Noble will be in the “Yes – kill it with fire” camp. With the best will in the world Donna is not an economically-minded person (or, at the least, we’ve not seen them), so I don’t think economic arguments will matter. Instead, it will stem from her dislike of Leeds and having no wish to go there (see “Turn Left”). For the opposite reason the 10^th and 12^th Doctors would vote “No”, both being very proud of Scotland and the North of England. The 12^th Doctor’s Scottish-ness is remarked upon frequently.

With absolutely no need for the service I think River, both Masters and the Daleks would vote to scrap it, whereas the Cybermen (not Missy’s flying creations) and Silents would both make use of it. The Silents are drivers of innovations (see NASA programme in “The Impossible Astronaut”/”Day of the Moon”) whilst the Cybermen would obviously benefit from speed boosts. Plus it’s hilarious to imagine a carriage full of Cybermen.

This leaves Rory, who I’ve stuck in the “I don’t’ know” box. I simply can’t find a strong enough hint in either direction to make a call. You could argue that his access to the TARDIS would render the need for travel irrelevant, but alternatively it would’ve opened his eyes to the benefits of travel.

So, what do the parties say? In the “Yes” camp are UKIP and the Green party (surprising bed-fellows indeed), whilst the three largest parties are all say “No”.

Can Migrants Claim Benefits Shortly After Arriving In UK?

Ah, a real pressure point question that needs no real explanation. It’s been one of the defining issues and the rise of isolationist-UKIP can be placed almost entirely on this issue (along with the next question). In my interpretation (which I’ll come to in the conclusion), this is a viewpoint inhabited by villains only. Simm’s Master became Prime Minister of the UK and poured his time and funds into military projects (Archangel network, missiles and Valiant) and money going elsewhere would be money wasted. The Daleks are hell-bent on purity (see what happens to the “old Daleks” in “Victory of the Daleks”) so would not be very pleased to mix up even a human gene pool.

Every “good” character is a “yes”. Looking at her treatment of the Ood is enough to cover Donna and Rory’s reactions to Gangers is likewise enough confirmation for me. Doctors 10 and 12 devote their lives to helping those less well-off and River, as a sort of migrant herself, would (I think) wish to help out no questions asked. Now, with some questions asked, I think the Silents too would support benefits here; if it helped them move “key-players” into and out of the UK (see transporting the young Melody Pond to NASA in Florida).

In the “I don’t know” section we are therefore left with Missy and the Cybermen. With Missy there just isn’t enough information (plus she’s bananas) and, whilst they have no concern for human well-being the Cybermen would certainly benefit from more people to convert. I’d probably have them leaning towards “Yes” if pushed, but will keep them in “I don’t know”.

What do the political parties think then? Greens and Liberals are “yes” voters and, to varying degrees, the others are “no”. To give a very simplified idea Labour have set out a limit of two years before giving benefits, the Conservatives four years, and UKIP five years. This is, of course, far from the whole truth.

Should the UK Leave the EU?

There are, of course, similar themes here to those in the preceding question, money and immigration predominantly, but the issue of the European Union is far too complicated to cover in its entirety here, so I’ve had to narrow in on the most salient points. So, with apologies to anyone who wants me to comment on the levels of EU bureaucracy, the focus is on divisions in society.

Simm’s Master and the Daleks would, for this reason, go with “Yes”. Not only would it divide the UK itself (as any response to this question would, but the impact OF change would be more visible than NO change), but it would separate the UK from other allies. Without political of military support from them (and vice-versa), the UK is undeniably weaker. Early River Song (i.e. “Let’s Kill Hitler” River Song) thrives in the world “on the brink of war”, though I’ve put her under “I don’t know” due to her changes over the series.

One “good” character I WOULD put in would be the 12^th Doctor. In “Deep Breath” in particular he separates himself from the English (“who he’d probably blame”) and accuses many characters of “developing a fault” as he no longer speaks with their accent. He’s also comfortable planning in isolation and keeping these plans secret (as the architect in “Time Heist”, as a problem-solver in “Mummy on the Orient Express” and the caretaker in, well, “The Caretaker”). You could of course argue that he ends up working with others but his intentions are often different.

Under “no” I’ve got the Silents and the Cybermen: the former benefit from increased mobility and access to new technology while the latter benefit from having extra people to convert. With more people immigrating than emigrating to/from the EU there is a growth in population directly attributable to staying in the EU. Leaving the EU would inevitably reduce these numbers.

Don’t know? The Tenth Doctor is a curious one here, as he’d be weighing up his hope of pacifying (a weakened military would be useful but the division between countries is potentially problematic) with his desire to protect the Earth (“it is defended” in his very first episode “The Christmas Invasion” right through to taking up arms against his own people to protect the earth in “The End of Time”). He’s a tough one to call. Missy wouldn’t care one way or the other (her actions – as far as can be told – did not rely upon international co-operation even if their effects were felt globally), and I can’t find enough evidence (that I’m happy with, at least) that would put Donna, Rory or River in either camp.

In our political climate of course UKIP are a “yes”; it is the cornerstone of their manifesto. Labour’s leader Ed Miliband has frequently warned that leaving the EU would be a disaster, the Greens likewise would go with “no”, and the Liberal Democrats, whilst a bit more borderline, are also in the “no” camp. It is interesting with the Conservatives that, according to TickBox at least, they are an “I don’t know” party. They’ve promised a referendum, but I think there is division within the party on the matter. The defection of some Conservative MPs to UKIP demonstrates this pretty clearly.

Should the UK Keep and Replace Trident?

Weaponry. Finally, something everyone should have a comment on (except no, one of them I couldn’t decide, but shush). Let’s start with the villains of whom all but one would vote “Yes”. The Cybermen, Missy, Simm’s Master and the Silents all utilise the hardware they can access. The Cybermen upgrade at every possibility but are also happy – oh, you know what I mean – to take advantage of “local” weapons. Both incarnations of the Master benefit from commandeering human equipment with Simm’s version directly building missiles in “The Last of the Time Lords”. The Silents were possibly responsible for nuclear technology in the first place but, at the very least, they have used human conduits as causes of technological advancement repeatedly. I would also include River as a “yes” given that she was willing to literally make the entire universe suffer to protect the Doctor and her love for him (“The Wedding of River Song”).

The villain I’d say would vote “no” is the Daleks. Unlike the other villains the Daleks are much better at creating their own weaponry than acquiring their rivals, and so would rather we didn’t have the power at all – even if they did consider it inferior they’d know that nuclear weapons could cause serious damage if deployed correctly. The other protesters – Donna Noble and the 10^th and 12^th Doctors – would vote “no” pure as pacifists. The 10^th Doctor is particularly anti-weaponry and, unlike the point regarding the EU in the previous article, the ramifications of not renewing Trident from a diplomatic perspective would be different to those of leaving the EU. The latter is directly distancing the UK from others, whereas this would be different.

This leaves only Rory, who I’ve put as “I don’t know”. Why? Because he might do it for Amy. He just might. We have seen in “The Big Bang”, “A Good Man Goes To War” and “The Wedding of River Song” that Rory will use weapons if needed to save his beloved wife (and baby). If pushed I’d go for “no” but, given that he protected her for 2,000 years, I’m not 100%. I can sense disagreements in the comments brewing but that would be the case whatever I went with!

The party split here yields a Labour, Conservative and UKIP backing of Trident with the Liberals and Greens opposing it.

The Deficit Should Be Reduced Through Spending Cuts, Not Tax Rises

Economics questions are perhaps more difficult to answer with Doctor Who characters given that it is rarely the focus of an episode. We get episodes that hone in on wealth and what it’s used for (with “rich” people punished for their actions in “Dalek”, “The Age of Steel” and “Voyage of the Damned” off the top of my (and Max Capricorn’s) head) but little on the economy at a national level. Instead then we must compare how the various options would affect each character.

As a nurse, Rory would be perhaps most affected by cuts (although all parties have indicated a level of protection for NHS funding their levels of commitment have been varied), and would happily pay his share in taxes to keep it funded. Whilst he never carries money the Doctor appreciates directly the benefits of the NHS and public services (see “Smith and Jones” for the former and “Planet of the Dead” for the latter).

Likewise Donna and River would readily put the needs of others before their own (“Turn Left” and “Forest of the Dead” respectively being good examples). For completely different reasons I think both Masters and the Silents would also go with “no”; in their cases revenue generated from tax rises would be far more useful than spending cuts to, in particular, the military and technology.

Those two perhaps most iconic villains, the Cybermen and the Daleks, would in my opinion vote “yes” here. The Daleks particularly would be content with funding being cut to the military and, despite their usage of Trident, the Cybermen would see no use for an NHS given that they would “save” people by conversion. They do not care whether a person is ill or disabled or otherwise impaired – see how the Cybermen force wheelchair-bound John Lumic into the Cyber Controller.

This final question is answered affirmatively by the Conservatives and UKIP and opposed by Labour, the Liberal Democrats and the Green Party.

Results

• Conservative – None
• Green Party – Donna Noble (4/5)
• Labour – Cybermen (3/5), Silents (4/5, tie with Liberal Democrats)
• Liberal Democrats – Silents (4/5, tie with Labour), 10^th Doctor (4/5), 12^th Doctor (3/5)
• UKIP – Simm Master, The Daleks
• No Consensus – Missy (tie between Labour, Green and UKIP but only 2/5), Rory (tie between Lib and Green but only 2/5), River (tie between UKIP and Green but only 2/5)

Outcome: Liberal Democrats elected with minority government with support from the Green Party and Rory Williams

I think there are three possible explanations for these results, specifically that the Doctor and his companions tend to be either greens or liberals (bearing in mind the “I don’t know” answers for Rory and River). The first is that I have let my political bias get the better of me and gone for what I would like there to be rather than what there is. The second is that this test is flawed. The third is that the results are right and that Doctor Who is, simply, a liberal show. Given that two of the five villains tested came up with results I too had achieved (three if you include Missy), I hope that my biases haven’t overwhelmed the test itself.

The second likely has some truth in it. With a more in-depth analysis with further questions that also take into account how characters would prioritise issues (something that can be done using a couple of the other websites) the results could be clearer, but there is also an issue with the episodes themselves. For two of the characters – the two incarnations of the Master – there were only a handful of episodes to work with. Even for the Silents, Donna, River and the Twelfth Doctor there are perhaps slight restrictions in this respect. This meant that relevant information for some questions was slim.

I think the third theory likely has some weight too. Doctor Who characters have a tendency to celebrate helping the masses even at cost to themselves. Whilst of course this does not sweep the Conservatives and UKIP off the table, a glance at either manifesto will see a greater emphasis on spending cuts – specifically on Welfare issues – than perhaps the “heroes” would like. UKIP particularly suffer with immigration policies compared with DW companions; all of the “good guys” I looked at leaned heavily towards multi-culturalism and inclusiveness over exclusiveness. Again, perhaps I’m letting my biases get the better of me. Who knows, eh? Who knows?

I know you’ll all keep comments civil.